Revving The Engine


It happens on a daily basis.  I get up with good intentions, a master plan in my head, a path through the daily routine with my goal established as firmly as roots of the one hundred year old magnolia in my yard.  In my utopian brain, my planned day has enough time carved out for everything.    Except…, it never works out that way.   I sometimes navigate through it all with the ineptitude of a kid learning to ride a bike.

Just today, I’ve been ogling the three issues of the WD magazine I need to read.  I especially want to read July/August because an article in there discusses “SECRETS TO PAGE TURNING THRILLERS AND SUSPENSE.”  But I’m such a twerp when it comes to being orderly, I feel the need to read them in succession.  Don’t ask me, I dunno.

And then, the thing is, every time I sit down and try to read during the day, I can’t – unless it’s on the internet!!  (pulls hair)  I don’t know why I can focus for HOURS when it comes to the stuff out “here,” but much like McDonald’s food, the internet sucks you in with the same addictive qualities of a psychedelic drug.   (I wouldn’t know, mind you, but that is a great analogy isn’t it?)  Yet, for some reason, as soon as I flip a magazine or book open, all I can do is think, “I should be writing!”

And so, I write.  And then I remember I haven’t looked at the regular blogs I follow yet,  so off I go for a visit.  Then, b/c I have a big mouth, I have to comment, then I realize my own blog hasn’t had a post in a few days.  Then I check my email.  Then, I look at the clock and I’m in a panic.  I only have a couple hours to write!  I open up the ms, somehow find myself stuck on a sentence somewhere in Chp 1.   I should just leave it alone, because I’m supposed to be working on Chp six – which is where I was working last time I left it.  Eventually I look at the clock.  SH–!  I have to cook dinner!

And I have to stop.

And another day is done.

And, I’m not satisfied with my progress.

And then I see in PM my agent has sold another book.

And then I see another book referenced by my editor a few months ago has also sold.

And I go to bed and I think, well damn.  But, tomorrow, tomorrow I’ll stick to my plan.

Yeah, right.

Days like this feel like I’m just revving the engine, while never coming out of Park.

Am I the only one ?

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13 Comments

Normally I get a notices when you reply! Bad WordPress! Bad!

My feeling about this biz… and it is a biz… is you can spend your whole life comparing yourself to others. But at the end of the day, the only one you have to answer to… is you. That’s the only thing you have control over. On that note, look how far you’ve come?!? You’re an inspiration to so many! You’re an inspiration TO ME! And the fact you’re still fighting, still pushing, still dreaming… makes me 100% there with you girl!

You’re one of the few blogs I like actually check in on. (Yes. I said like…) And it’s because your voice is so great. It’s because you’re writing is so great. It’s because you’re so HONEST. So you need to know… you most definitely have a fan in me. I can’t wait to read your books! And I know one day, I will.

Hang in there.

XO

PS. Maybe see: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0M1L15hpphQ (It’s helped me in those down moments.)

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    Wow, thank you soooo much! You are so very kind…to say all of those nice things!!

    Your input couldn’t have come at a better time either…since I just had a very, (read VERY) rough review of the first 100 pages of the third book. Yes, our favorite editor had to set me straight and I’m literally all the way back to page 1. (picture me at shredder with previous draft.) I got her feedback on Father’s Day, just as fourteen family members were descending on the house and…it was all I could do to get through the day. But, having said that, I’m just all the more determined to get her praise. She’s like the schoolteacher you want to please. LOL!

    thank you so much! I’m going to watch the youtube video now. If you want to email me so we can take conversations offline (and this goes to anyone out there who reads this) feel free to reach me at deverhart2@nc.rr.com.

    XOXOXO!!!!

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    And sooo, I watched this youtube clip and I LOVED IT! Loved it! I’ve got it bookmarked. He made me laugh. Thx again!

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Do not read Publisher’s Marketplace. It will only make you feel fat.

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During a revving kind of day I’ll ask myself, while in the midst of accomplishing nothing of purpose, at the end of my life will I want this day back. That either gets me to get off my ass and do something or take a nap. Right now I’m heading for the hammock tied between two pines at the edge of the woods in our back yard. It’s sunny out and a stiff breeze is stirring up the air. Rain is coming tonight.
Will I want this day back, hell yeah, it’s perfect.

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    Haha, I’ll keep this in mind! Just bought a lounge chair and huge umbrella for the deck of the pool we just put up.

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    The days I’ve wanted back are generally the ones where I screwed up, or thought of a different way of doing something. That ole hindsight being 20/20 thing… I’m glad you had such a nice day – it was nice here too, a bit humid, but nice. My daughter and I went on a bike ride, I cooked her and my husband breakfast…an easy, breezy, Sunday.

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I’m pretty sure my days float away like this too. I feel like I got something done until I hit the end of the day and realize all the stuff still left.

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    And realizing that? Makes me downright cranky. I’m a clock watcher too. I’ll look at it and go, oh, it’s only 9 a.m., I can go to WordPress or FB for a bit. Next thing I know, it’s 1 p.m. and I haven’t written one word, haven’t planned dinner…instantly ticked off.

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