I can’t help that I worry about things. The stuff that I can’t control, or the stuff that I shouldn’t even be worrying about at all. I just can’t seem to help it though and here’s an example…
I just visited the website of Ken Foster, author of several good dog books: http://www.kenfoster.blogspot.com
In one post was his take on book tours. It was called “Book Tour Financing 101”, http://www.kenfoster.blogspot.com/2012/07/book-tour-financing-101.html
What I got from browsing around and reading some of his posts, 1) he’s a successful published author with several books under his belt, 2) i.e. he’s successful enough to have a publicist, and 3) his latest book is in it’s second printing. BUT, what I also picked up on from his Book Tour Finance 101 post is that most publishers do not pay for book tours, or at least not large ones, as he said. Instead, they prefer the author to use online tools to promote their books. Most writers, including me, know all this, so what’s to worry about?
He’s successful, yet he has a full time job. Why, I wondered, (worried). Now I’ve heard all along that if you think you’re going to get rich writing, you’ve been either 1) blissfully ignoring the facts, 2) on Mars, or 3) delusional. I worry, what does this mean for me? It’s not like I need a six figure deal (although that would be nice), I just need enough to help with monthly bills. Thus, I’m totally thrown by the fact of knowing this SUCCESSFUL writer still works full time. I don’t know, maybe he likes expensive wines or gourmet food, or some other extravagance that means he has to work.
Then, he said he has to kennel his dogs. That won’t be the case for our new addition since my husband will be here, but I started worrying over the fact that “little one” has decided he can’t eat unless I feed him BY HAND. So, on the basis of having “some” success at a book contract that MIGHT entail a very small tour, what if my little one starves? What if I go on a book tour and he just WON’T EAT? Now, I’ve started worrying over how he developed this strange eating behavior, and how will I prepare him for if/when I’m gone…wherever?
Next, I looked at Mr. Foster’s tour schedule. Then, I went out to another bestselling author’s website and looked at her previous touring schedule. One month on the road – for him, but it was different for her. Her book launched in October 2010 and she said she’d be touring the Mid-West and South until March. WHAT? A tour that lasted months? My little one wouldn’t know me anymore, hell, might not even last that long without me! Or he’d sink into a depressed state again. He had a hard beginning as it was. What if he thinks I’ve abandoned him, when, in his short three year life, he’s been bounced around more than an NC State basketball? What will happen to the progress we’ve made if I’m gone weeks on end? Or even with a small tour, for a month? Would it be possible for him to go too? Couldn’t I just drive and take him with me?
Here I am. Worrying over things that will likely not happen, yet my brain can’t seem to shut this kind of stuff off. I want to be a successful author. And yes, I want to be successful enough to go on a book tour. I try to tell myself little one would probably be just fine because even if all that did happen, it wouldn’t be for another year or two. And in the next breath, I worry as if I haven’t worried enough without reason…, wouldn’t he?